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THE TOUR WITH NO NAME - DAY 3

Birmingham  

We don't usually go down in Birmingham. For some reason, we're not a 'Birmingham' kind of band. The audiences tend to be sparse and ancient, and the venues smaller than most big towns we play. I've yet to evolve a sociological theory explaining this, but its probably got something to do with curry and the manufacture of pins.  

Today the venue's slightly larger than usual; they've just opened up yet another Carling Academy, the Starbucks of the live music Industry. Pretty soon there'll be two on every street. And every band in Britain will be drinking diluted bilge in their dressing rooms, forever.

I check out our support band for this tour, Krakatoa; a London beat combo setting out to prove that the mod culture is in permanent revolution, Kinks-ish of Barnet, their adorable Small Faces gleaming in the lights. They could be the next Shed Seven.  



On the way to the dressing room I bump into Brian and Graham, two gentlemen of Northampton. Their mate Brian has Pancreatic Cancer, sadly. Most generously they have donated some of his medication to the band, in the interests of medical science; premium grade pharmaceutical diamorphine patches; stick one of those babies on your arm and you'll be flying for 2 days, if it doesn’t kill you.   

After the show, Eddie Real ventures into Krakatoa’s dressing room.

 

They’ve stuffed sandwich wrappers over the smoke alarms, Splanged up a fistful of Doobies and are partying like bastards. There’s a club on in the venue.  The lead singer, a pocket Phil Daniels goes:  

'Ere! Smudger! Get out there and get us a few birds, mate.’  

Two minute later the guitarist returns with nine pulchritudinous young women, short of skirt and wondrous of bra. I make a mental note to text David Attenborough and pitch a nature documentary about the effects of Carlsberg Export on the enrichment of the Mod gene pool.          



© Orlando Harrison 2009